Once were his thoughts so bright,

Filled with the shimmering colors of a new shining sun;

The birth of a new day.

 

But the dreams now come in monochromatic grays,

Fashioned in the raging fires suffered by this hapless
wonderer.

He has tread the violent waters for steady is his resolve,

But old and weak is his flesh

And he can go on… now… no longer.

 

He has stood tall to face his demons;

Won his share of wars.

But that constant warring has taken its toll

And he falls to a knee and breathes

No

More.

 

Laying on the ground this man…

Laying there bleak and still…

As all his loves and wills abscond into the shadows of night

Like the life that touched this broke down hero.

 

Vanished are his hopes… extinguished is his light.

This man will live to fight no more.

 

-JJT

8 June 2006

10:57 PM

That dirty slut! How dare she play me?!

I bound her wounds when the man made her bleed!

I do right by her,

And so now I’m the clown

As she cries tears of shit stained brown.

 

To let her ass in,

Broke down the walls I made,

Should have built a tighter fort

Than start this grotesque charade.

It’s all too clear now on who’s the true liar!

Go to hell you bitch!

          -And drowned in that burning fire!

-JJT
21 May 06
10:01 PM

 

What dreams have transpired because of this fantastic lie
I’ve lived

Fantasizing of the better days to come!

I should have known that the blackest of demons reside in
the few holy joys

Locked tight within this lost and battered boy.

 

I am not a man,

But a toy to be used and abused

By the whole of this wretched world!

-Seek to be inspired by the light

And find yourself fighting an army
of satin’s minions.

 

Tired of this same old game and playing by the rules,

This fool refuses to drive this preverbal train to hell no
longer!

 

 

-JJT
9 May 06
7:30 PM

 

 

I long to feel the breath of forbidden winds upon my lips

And to hold my sweet Aphrodite.

Lying in the desert sands holding close our hot…

…naked…

…bodies.

 

This woman is grace,

Holier than holy.

With a smile she erases

The sins of this broken man.  

 

There is magic in the way she walks…

…and talks…

…and carries on
in her own way.

I lose myself within the look she gives me

While the rest of the world fades to a simple grey.

 

But woe is me!

This fantastic love can not be!

There are some ties that chain and bind

That keeps the heart from happiness.

 

But can a man not dream?

Of what living perhaps could be,

If all the cards in life were winning hands?

 

The way we’d be and the things we’d see?

To what lengths of paradise could we reach?

 

Her gentle touch would be my agony.

Her soft kisses would bring me great pain.

If she slowly ran her hands across my chest…

…my loins would
burst aflame.

 

My body burns to taste her flesh and to watch her writhe in pleasure.

I would treasure fulfilling her every last need…

…want…

…deep, dark,
dirty desire.

 

I am entranced in the angst of longing

For this fantasy woman of my dreams.

Enraged at the futility of this helpless endeavor

Of loving this phantasmic image.

 

 

-JJT
24 Apr 06
3:03 AM

I…

Am darkness personified.

With every passing day I have lived and died

Many times over.

I die each day in the sublime light of this cold

Hard world of stone.

I am…

Forever alone.

 

I refuse the light that tries to light my way.

Instead, I seek the darkness day by day;

The more solitary road in which to peddle my wares.

With that,

Is it no wonder no one cares

To purchase goods I offer?

 

I have walked the loneliest road

For so long,

I have lost the mode

In which to communicate with the living.

In her stead,

I choose to bramble and ramble with the dead.

 

I work so hard to find time to play,

To give my mind the break

I work for everyday day.

 

I drink too much…

And smoke too much…

Over indulge and over spend too much…

To fill that void that hurts so much inside.

I yearn

So much to feel alive…

And to feel that joy

That wells up deep inside…

But there are no more smiles in this lackluster tattered heart.

 

I wish for escape…

But my perverse nature enjoys the brutal rape

Of demented self imposed sadness.

 

It’s madness,

But it’s safer than forcing what I want

Upon the world.

Who can imagine loving this gaunt,

Callous, soulless creature;

Myself?

 

I am darkness,

In this bleak work of wan and dirty smiles,

Forever destined

To walk the eternal lonely miles

Of solitude.

-JJT

17 April 06

2:25 AM

My… my… my… there has been a sudden change… What a wondrous
thing is this unusual turn of circumstance, a dawn of new fortune.

Things may be looking up for now, so I must bear a new
caution… The tide may fall short or the winds may change, so I must tread with
a degree of fear… -lest I fall into the hole unseen

The beast within stirs deep inside thirsting for your hide.
Fuck you and get outta’ my way, or I’ll make you fucking
cry!
I’ll consume your flesh and gnaw your bones. I’ll make you
my dirty bitch.
I’ll smack that look right off your face. I’ll force you to
submit.

I’ll tie your hands and bind your feet,
Refuse you drink and refuse you eat,
I’ll gag you and blind you,
And leave you all alone.

You’ll wish and cry
You never left
The comfort of your home.

It’s time now for a new reign of hell with me sitting at her
helm.
Welcome to your nightmare in the Jester’s dirty realm.

The beast within stirs deep inside thirsting for your hide.
Fuck you and get outta’ my way, or I’ll make you fucking
cry!
I’ll consume your flesh and gnaw your bones. I’ll make you
my dirty bitch.
I’ll smack that look right off your face. I’ll force you to
submit.

I’m tired of being this fucking toy,
A cheep plaything for the masses.
I’m taking it out on all you freaks
I don’t care if you’re a mime with glasses.

My minions are those cast to the side,
Those refused,
and degraded by society…
My Army will rise to the top!
Just you wait and see!

It’s now the time! The age of the Outcast! Unite and cause
mayhem and hell!
We will destroy all those pompous freaks! Attack at the
sound of the bell!

DING!

Attack at the sound of the bell!

DING!

Attack at the sound of the bell!

DING!

Attack at the sound of the bell!

DING!

ATTACK! ATTACK! ATTACK! ATTACK! ATTACK!

The beast within stirs deep inside thirsting for your hide.
Fuck you and get outta’ my way, or I’ll make you fucking
cry!
I’ll consume your flesh and gnaw your bones. I’ll make you
my dirty bitch.
I’ll smack that look right off your face. I’ll force you to
submit.

We will rise up against the law!
Destroy buildings and homes!
We will relish in the sound
Of the crunching of your bones! 

It’s us or them,
So you better make a choice.
They will make you a slave,
Follow me,
And we will each have
A voice!

It’s now the time! The age of the Outcast! Unite and cause
mayhem and hell!
We will destroy all those pompous freaks! Attack at the
sound of the bell!

DING!

Attack at the sound of the bell!

DING!

Attack at the sound of the bell!

DING!

Attack at the sound of the bell!

DING!

It’s now the time! The age of the Outcast! Unite and cause
mayhem and hell!
We will destroy all those pompous freaks! Attack at the
sound of the bell!

DING!

Mi Dia

The storm has broken and the sun has come out
Nurturing the world with her warmth.
New life springs from decaying damp depths
And in time will yield good fruit.

A soft sea breeze takes the place of torrential gusts
And the birds return to heavenly heights.
Who am I to deserve this good life,
To witness God’s brilliance of poetry in motion?

I am forever lost in the rapture of her essence,
Thankful for this chance to live again.

-JJT
27 Jan 06
12:51AM

This was written as an anagram of several ideas and emotions
running around plying ping-pong with my mind and I deliberately wrote it in two
parts so as to show a shift in thought and feeling. That being the case, I
titled it Iron Man 1 and Iron Man 2 respectively.

I leave it to you, the reader, to discern if this is one or
two pieces. Frankly, I am quite curious to hear what you think… -J

 

Iron Man 1

I AM the Iron Man!

HEAR ME ROAR!

Heart made of cast iron and

Cold down to the core.

 

Impervious to life I am,

Brush that shit right off my chest!

No one can touch me see

‘Cause I’m just better than all the rest!

 

But if you only really knew

This shit inside my head is stew!

I am nothing but a little hurt kid lost inside this great
big world…

Licking my wounds in my own private corners

Shielded from the looks of crooks who trying to steal a bit
more of me…

A bit more of my heart…

My soul…

My passions…

 

They dress in expensive fashions as they try to seduce me in
to their will

Make me their slave…

Make me behave…

Make me jump up
and down when they snap their finger…

 

So… I build my self up…

I make myself mean…

I am arrogant… hateful… lustful, vengeful…

I will destroy you!

Make you pay!

I am the Iron Man

AND I AM HERE TO STAY!

 

Iron Man 2

(But… then) One night…

As I lie awake in bed,

Kept company by the screaming voices of torment invented by
my head…

I became afraid…

I was afraid of dying alone, growing up and old and coming
to an empty home…

 

So… I laid that suit of armor down to rest

Changed my ways, put on my best

Started being honest… And truthful…
And kind…

And compassionate… Loving, caring,
always sharing

Myself and my
love…

Because I
believed IT was possible…

 

But you know what? I’m so fucking done!

Dawn that suit of armor

And holy hell it’s begun!

 

The man in black is back for fun!

This time now with bigger guns!

Gotta’ a faster
step and a lightning draw

Meanest looking
fucker thought you’d ever saw!

Try to play me!? Look at you so
sweet!

I eat bitches like you for lunch!
Get the hell away from me!

 

I suppose one day I’ll meet the one

My heart will cave and all this will be done

But until that day comes it’s a holy jihad

Against all people who oppose my cause!

 

The earth trembles as I walk on by…

Women scream and children cry

Guys see me… wanna’ be me… try to look like me or be me in
parts…

 

I AM THE IRON MAN

THE DEVIL KING OF HEARTS!

 

-JJT

23 Jan 06

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I Have met my pink elephant! It is driving my nuts!

WHAT IS <!–[if !supportEmptyParas]–>  AND CAN ANYONE TELL ME HOW TO GET RID OF IT !!!! AHHHHHHHH!!!!!